Sailor Stories

A very funny journalist that has a blog called Breaksat At Tiffany's, wrote the other day in her famous blog that she was a starving artist living in a closet. Starving I suppose because her very small apartment doesn't even have a stove. But yet her rent is very high. Yet she's happy. Happy, because she's living close to the Stars that she writes about.

I could relate to her plight. I to once lived in a very high rent neighborhood. After a hitch in the Navy, I just couldn't imagine myself living in Brooklyn anymore. It was where I grew up and there will always be a place in my heart for Brooklyn, but I just can't deal with living there any longer.

After spending so many years out on the West Coast and learning to speak proper English, it scared the hell out of me to think that I might settle back down in Brooklyn and revert to speaking a Brooklyn dilect again. I had no idea that I was speaking a very foreign language until I left Brooklyn. All I had to say were either the words coffee or water and everyone realized I was from Brooklyn.

When I first left the Navy I had a golden tan from all those years in the Pacific and when I talked to someone that didn't know me, they always asked me where I was from. At first I just thought they wondered why I had such a deep tan in the middle of the winter. But, they all said you don't sound Brooklyn. And they were right. I was speaking a foreign language in my native Brooklyn.

So, there was only one thing to do. It was time to move to Manhattan. I found an apartment that I could afford in one of the plushest places in Manhattan. But I had to sacrifice. I could only swing the rent for a studio apartment. But my new neighbors weren't like the ones I were acustomed to in Brooklyn.

Walter Cronkite lived across the street from me. Gloria Vanderbilt was around the corner and Maureen Ohara was down the street. Everywhere I went people smiled and called me The Boss. I just thought it was some kind of Manhattan thing or something. But one day when I took a date to a very exclusive place and asked if I could get a table without a reservation, I was told, Yes, we always have a table for The Boss.

I asked my date. "Who the hell is this Boss guy."

She said. "You're not serious."

I said. "Just tell me what this Boss thing is."

She laughed and asked. "How may years have you been a cloistered Monk?"

I asked. "Have things changed that much? I've been overseas for a long time. But have I gotten that so far out of touch?"

She said. "Okay, I'll tell you. Bruce Springsteen is The Boss and you look just like him. That's who they think you are."

I said. "Oh, Bruce Sprigsten,

I've heard of him. I just didn't make The Boss connection. Does that mean I don't look like Elvis anymore?"

She laughed and said. "Elvis. Who told you that you looked like Elvis?"

I lauged and said. "I dated a girl in high school that was a big Elvis fan. She always told me I looked like him."

She lauged and said. "Well right now you look like Bruce Springsteen. At least that's why I'm dating you. Here, just look at this picture of Bruce Springsteen at his Barcelona concert. He looks like your twin here."

I laughed and said. "Oh, I thought you were going out with me because I had such a spacious studio apartment."

She said. By the way, how did you find that apartment?"

I said. "It helps when you're Uncle is President of the Real Estate Board."

She laughed and said. "I had to read the obituaries for months before the right person passed away in the apartment I was looking for."

I laughed and said. You're not having a fantasy that I'm Bruce Sprinsteen when were making it. Are You?"

She hesitated and said. "No. He doesn't sing deep meaning songs like your favorite http://coachb.net/why.htm song Why. Tell me, are you having a fantasy that I'm someone else when were making love?"

I said. "No, of course not. But did I ever tell you how much you looked like Cindy Crawford?"